Ma'am and Madam

My friend P was distraught. She just had to share this in our private FB group:

Hi mothers, just wanted to share. 

At the garden center, I was talking to this guy I judged to be about the same age as me. But throughout our conversation, he kept saying 'po' and 'opo' which made me realize he probably thinks of me as SIGNIFICANTLY OLDER! 

Redeeming moment at the supermarket today, when a man who looked to be in his late 40s called me 'Hija.' 

Who here has been thinking a lot about aging lately? Because I have! Anybody know how to stop the clock?! 

"Maybe he is just being polite?" some of us surmised.

"You can go to a college campus and still fit in.", K chimed in.

"The first time I met my brother-in-law's ex-GF, she said "po" and I was so pissed! And ending was, she turned out to be older than me!", shared J, with obvious hugot.

"I get surprised when somebody calls me 'Madam'!", P added as an afterthought.

"Come to think of it, I get called Madam a lot! Nakakainis Ang Madam! Parang matrona!", I vented out

"Feeling ko inaasar ako pag Madam, hahaha", K said. 

"I get called Madam a lot too, naiinis lang kayo because a true donya would be offended!", jabbed P, who must have recalled this from Tita K's insightful Facebook status post on true donyahood.

"When I think Madam I think big helmet hair na alajada!", I explained. Visions of Imelda Marcos and her Blue Ladies, plus Meldy Cojuangco and her Forbes Park amigas come to mind.

But nobody followed my train of thought, and the topic shifted to gardening and the possible death of plants.

Which left me still pondering on P's anecdote and my personal experiences as of late. 

When I look in the mirror, I see that no amount of Aesop Parsley Seed Anti-Oxidant Eye Serum will take care of the wrinkles that appear when I smile or squint my eyes, the way that Botox can. And I refuse to do Botox. (Kids, don't make it a habit to rub your eyes, it loosens the skin around your eyes, and unfortunately for me, I cannot turn back time)

I have toyed with the idea of having my lids done though, because my eyelids droop in a way that resembles a hoodie. 

When I look at the skin on my tummy that has been stretched thrice, thanks to my three beautiful children, I remember the times when it was taut and trim, and woe is me that I never even bothered to have photos taken to prove it.

Worse, I go to a photo shoot and the models call me Tita. Tita!

In a year and a half, I will be 40 years old. I remember when my Mom and her friends were 40. They seemed so old. And a lot more mature than I am now. But this observation deserves a post of its own.

I remember her friends who would say how offended they were when they were called, "Tita" and I would think to myself then, "Well, you are a Tita! What else would you be called?". But because I was taught to keep my opinions to myself, I would just smile politely, out of respect for my elders.

Uhm, I guess that's me and my friends now. The sort of folks who would get curious stares from the kids hanging out in the cool clubs, should we even dare go to Palace Pool Club or wherever it is millennials go to now. And that the pretty girls of our time now look like the moms that they are, and the sleazy guys of our generation are now the official Dirty Old Men. Hahaha.

I guess we will just have to accept aging gracefully, lest we be the ones who live out our glory days way past our prime.

In fact, there's this old couple I often see at church who look like they are dressed for a Grease themed party. Lola with teased curly hair, tight jeans and heeled slides, and Lolo with greasy pomaded hair and his short sleeved shirt folded just like John Travolta's.

They actually look cute and can get away with it, and I often think of how they must have had a great time in the 70s and 80s that they identify with the look of the era close to 40 years later.

Ahhh there goes 40 again. That said, I will hold my bottles and jars of SK-II close to my chest, and keep Coco Chanel's words, in my heart.

  

Then again, Coco Chanel calls her perfume Mademoiselle instead of Madame.

So f*ck it. While I think I am doing a decent job with my anti-aging routines, I may need more intervention down the road.

Because here's one scary fact: In a study of 100 Japanese women aged between 22 and 55, scientists from beauty brand SK-II discovered that while 'skin power' - the ability to protect itself from UV exposure and pollution, and to renew and regenerate itself - steadily declined, it went into free fall at 35.

Support group na ito! Fellow Ma'ams and Madams, tips please?

Play for Real with Johnson's Baby

With my friends Cai, Jackie, Didi and Pam at the Johnson's Play for Real event

Can you tell which of the moms above are guilty of iPad parenting? Ok fine, it may just be me. Ahihihi. 

But sometimes, it's just too easy. I make them sit down, tinker about with an educational app, watch a toy review on YouTube, or play a game, and they're so quiet right away. How can I not? Especially when there's a ton of things I have to do, handing over my phone or iPad always seems like a good idea. Yes, even if I know it's not the best thing keep them preoccupied. Woe is me.

I do let them play for real of course. I have noticed in fact that they don't need expensive toys and gadgets to keep them happy. Hand over some empty bottles and boxes, and they'll figure out creative ways to play with them. Xavi gets a box and turns it into a house. Berry converts my discarded eye serum bottle with a dropper into a doll's feeding bottle.

Berry and Xavi found this box at S&R and pretended it was their house 

And this is the sort of "playing" that Johnson's Baby advocates. 

My UP Econ schoolmate Trina Tanlapco, who is now the Associate Marketing Director for Johnson's Baby, spearheaded the Play for Real campaign, because they want to remind parents that playtime is a time for learning, and that what seems like an ordinary activity, can actually mean so much more for our kids.

discarded bottles can turn into squirt guns, rocket ships, a coin bank, and more, with just a little bit of imagination

And when Johnson's Baby says, "Play!", we're talking the full sensory experience - because children learn more when their sense of sight, touch, smell, hearing and taste are activated and enhanced. 

Apparently, when the different senses get stimulated in activities during play, the neurons and brain connections are formed better, making kids more receptive to learning. They develop their fine motor, language, cognitive and social skills. It fosters creativity, while learning different concepts and preparing them for bigger challenges. There's a lot going on, in what may seem like regular playing.

Sight: When was the last time your kid played with leaves and twigs? I remember playing with leaves and twigs as a kid, mixing it with water in an toy clay pot my Lola bought for me.

Taste: How do unpopped corn kernels taste like? I wouldn't be surprised if at least one curious kid popped a kernel in his mouth, heehee

Smell: Coffee grounds! Like soil, but smells so much better!

Feel: slipper, bubbly, soapy ducks!

Hearing: Can you hear the sound of dripping water? Gushing water? Water coming from 6 different faucets?

Just take a look at the pleased look on Xavi's face when he managed to unearth a coin using a magnet...

Priceless! I've never seen him do that while playing on the iPad!

In fact, the entire time our kids were immersed in sensory play, I've never had them come up to me asking for my phone, or complaining that they were bored!

They had a grand time scooping corn kernels.

Getting wet with a garden hose.

Filling up empty plastic bottles of Johnson's Baby top to toe wash and gleefully splashing it onto their friends.

Making colorful artwork using not just paint brushes, but also sponges, and even their bare hands and feet.

In fact, just as we were about to leave, Berry made one last request to go inside a giant bubble.

I've forgotten how playing the old-fashioned way can be so much fun! It was amazing how my kids and their friends spent a good 3 hours outdoors, tirelessly playing under the sun, without any complaints. I really should give them more time outside, getting sweaty and dirty, playing with sticks, stones, leaves and mud, running through the garden hose, and scribbling with chalk on the driveway, like the kids of my generation used to.  

For more on Johnson's Baby and the Play for Real campaign,  visit the Johnson's Baby Facebook page. Now watch what real play can do for our kids:

Transformers & OREO: Better Together

What is it about an Oreo cookie that makes me crave for their crunchy chocolate, cream-filled cookies when I start thinking about them?

I mean, here I am, seriously going through a pack, ok three, as I write this post. And to think this post is really about Oreo and their partnership with the Transformers franchise.

Oreo has in fact gone so far as to come up with two limited edition Transformers flavors - Action Fruit Creme and Prime Berry Creme, which I will tell you more about later, heehee.

these new flavors are not just for reel, they're for real!

But first, let me tell you what I think about the movie, Transformers: Age of Extinction. Don't worry, no spoilers here. 

But yes, there's an Oreo cameo in the movie, and no, it wasn't as horrible as all the reviews made it out to be.

I mean, even if the SoMoms & I  weren't invited to Oreo Philippines' official screening, I would have gone to see the movie still. It was entertaining, there was never a dull moment, and it was overall, fun! All three hours of it!

Dada, Berry & I had a great time watching. I don't know if it's because we went expecting the worst, but it wasn't a total waste of time as some people said it was.

In fact, even if we missed out on the big shebang that the folks from Oreo set-up just right outside the cinema (a photo booth with some of the Transformers in the uh, flesh?, an Oreo themed dessert table, etc.) because the wait for a parking slot at Resorts World was just insane (we actually ended up waiting at the valet line too, ugh) Berry was quite happy with her photo taken with a cardboard Optimus Prime. Teehee.

If you have three hours to kill, go and watch Transformers: Age of Extinction. Just don't over analyze it na lang and take it for what it is - pure entertainment.

Of course, the more exciting thing about Oreo tying up with Transformers are their limited edition flavors which I told you about earlier.

Cool blue Prime Berry Creme comes in the delicious Blueberry Ice Cream flavor and the Action Fruit Creme flavor is filled with the unique taste of Orange Ice Cream. These two new flavors are available in leading supermarkets for a limited time only.

When you buy a pack of these limited edition flavors, along with the classic Original and Chocolate Creme flavors in Transformers packaging, you and your kids may join the Oreo Lab Grab Game over at http://oreotransformers4.com/.

The Oreo Lab Grab game over at http://oreotransformers4.com/...

...allows you to win instant prizes such as water bottles and Transformers themed luggage, even an experience of a lifetime - a Trip for 4 to Universal Studios in Hollywood! 

So start grabbing those cookies!

Promotion ends August 25, 2014.

PS - The fun doesn't stop online. Also check out Oreo's Do It Together App which you may download at the Apple App Store. 

Oreo wants to support families in choosing each other over varied distractions in life and encourage family togetherness by suggesting fun activities every week to complete as a family, capturing those precious moments and rewarding achievements.

 

Because with Oreo, everything is Better Together!

BetterMe: Attaining and Sustaining Loving Energy in the Family, Part 2

Continuing from Part 1, here's Part 2 of How to Raise Kids with Strong Character & Values:

6. Talk explicitly about your values and why they are important to you.

The values we stress on our kids will help them navigate situations that test them. Reinforce by saying, "The (your last name here) are kind/helpful/have integrity/ honest/trustworthy".

But we should also be prepared to help our children interpret how the world takes in that value. 

Sometimes, certain values are not "valued" by their peers, especially during the adolescent years. Take honesty for instance.  When classmates cheat in class, honesty may only ostracize the honest kid aka "squealer". We should also be ready to guide our kid on how to navigate situations like these without making them resent that value.

If the parents have different values, it's ok. It shows diversity and how other people will not always have the same values you do. What's important is the parents shows teamwork.

7. Talk about why you make certain decisions based on that value.

This is where stories and fables like Aesop's Fables come in. It is important to talk to our kids about why a particular value was incremental in making that decision. Stories hold power, they also make lessons easier to remember.

8. Resist lecturing.

It's so hard to hold back when you have all these ideas ready to spew out from your mouth in the form of a lecture, but hold it in! The best you can do is to ask your child, "What happened?" Sometimes, that's all a child needs, a parent's genuine concern. But this doesn't mean you just let things be.

Time the teaching moment when your emotions have settled down and you have processed the entire situation in an objective manner.

Coach Pia says we should share our own views sparingly unless the child is in harm's way. So in the case of non-negotiables (drugs, danger, accidents, etc) do not back off! Assert yourself.

9. Make it relevant to their world. Take it away from being theoretical.

Let's say you want to teach your kid independence.

A school project comes up and your child says, "Teacher said I should do this myself!"

Aha! The perfect situation to teach independence, right? 

So you let her do it herself. And when she proudly shows her self-made project to you, you summon all the self-control you have to resist the urge to fix that lopsided roof, that loose button, or that really awkward sentence in her school essay.

Yes, that's teaching them independence. You let them do it themselves, even if you can already see a C in the horizon. That project won't give them an A, and you accept that.

Put a premium on effort and enthusiasm. You can't teach independence via a story or by the book. You've got to let them stand on their own feet literally.

BetterMe: Attaining and Sustaining Loving Energy in the Family, was made possible by DMCI Homes and Lysol.

To keep the home full of love, make sure your home is not only stress-free but clean and healthy too! Lysol, a trusted champion of health, partners with mothers and homemakers in caring for the health & well-being of our families and homes.

BetterMe: Attaining and Sustaining Loving Energy in the Family, Part I

Don't you sometimes wish you were born into a different family?

I've had episodes when I was younger and wished that my parents were cooler, more supportive of my interests, more normal. 

I wish my Dad had a regular office job and went home every day (he was in the military and was away for stretches of time), I wish my mom liked to shop for clothes and shoes, and knew where to get the latest trendy sneakers and jeans (I had to ask Ate Carol, the cool older sister of our playmates/neighbors Juanlo and Miat), but she preferred home stuff (which bored me then but I totally get her now!).  I wish she'd send me off to school with a Cheez Whiz sandwich and Kool Aid, but I was always the one in school with a homemade cheese pimiento sandwich, raisins and freshly squeezed juice in my lunchbox.

Of course, I'd also wish that my siblings were more mellow, less high strung, more driven, more supportive, less noisy, etc. - basically, the opposite of whatever it was that irritated me about someone at the moment.

But as Desmond Tutu famously said, "You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them." 

So ok, it's like we're stuck with them diba? You take the good with the bad. You look at the bright side of things. You appreciate what's nice about them. All those cliches.

While we can't change the family we are born into, the good thing is, we can always begin with the family we started. Because this time, we made the choice. 

Dada & I chose to be married to each other. We chose to have our kids. They didn't choose us, but well, we can always turn our family into the sort of family they'd be happy to be part of. The kind they won't be embarrassed about, haha.

That's the premise at least of our #BetterMe session with Coach Pia Nazareno-Acevedo last May 21 - Attaining and Sustaining Loving Energy in the Family which was held at Flair Towers by DMCI Homes in Mandaluyong.

Flair Towers at Reliance corner Pines Street, Highway Hills, Mandaluyong has a resort like feel, and is in fact a project of one of our fellow SoMoms - Mommy Fleur! She's an engineer at DMCI, in case you didn't know

Now that I am older, of course I know that it takes more than just cool to raise happy, well-adjusted kids who will grow up into mature, responsible and exceptional adults. 

As parents, the first thing that is required of us is to turn our home into the kind of sanctuary where our children feel safe and loved. They should be raised with strong character and values, because more than just education and material things, their character and values will allow them to navigate life's complexities on their own, even if we are long gone.

Really, those must have toys and trips abroad are really just the fancy fondant figures on the cake - nice to look at, but even without, doesn't detract from one's enjoyment of a deliriously delicious cake.

I have to warn you though, this is a lengthy post, so I will break this down into two parts. 

Everything I learned from the session is worth sharing, and so I will just run through each line quickly. If you want me to expound, feel free to leave a comment after this post! I'm happy to share my learnings.

How to Raise Children with Strong Character and Values:

1. Stop asking your child what he wants to do with his life. Start asking him who he wants to be.

Many parents are guilty of saying that - "Ano ba balak mo sa buhay?" or "What's wrong with you?" when a child does something disappointing. They will go on a lengthy tirade, maybe with a bit of crying on the part of the mom, sermon from the dad, which will all end up in well, nothing really. Maybe the kid just doing something equally disappointing again another time.

But a child takes her cue from her parents. If a parent is fragile, you can't expect the child to be strong.

Instead of approaching your child with worry on your face, be matter of fact. Say, "Anak, tell me what happened?" and open a discussion from there.

When you say words like, "What's wrong with you?", you are eating at their self-esteem. You are essentially saying "You are not meeting my expectations" and this is no way to raise a child.

2. Stop speaking to your child about a career. Talk instead about a calling.

Let's face it, we're fixated with careers: My kid wants to be a doctor, a lawyer, whatever. He'll be a businessman like me. I hope she gets that golf scholarship at Stanford so she can go into tech and start a company in Silicon Valley.

Coach Pia says we shouldn't focus so much on the career. Instead, encourage empathy, the willingness to help others, or whatever it is your child feels he can contribute to - take care of abandoned animals, stop bullying, etc.

We should enhance and encourage strengths. Say things like,"You learn so quickly", ""It's so natural for you to put things in order". Positive reinforcement, always.

3. Stop focusing on grades and start focusing on intellectual curiosity.

Coach Pia says, from babyhood to 7 years old, admire everything they do to heaven and back. Encourage them to be curious, to learn. It will become natural for them.

When they are of school age, do not focus on grades. Anyway, we all know by now that grades do not guarantee success in life.

My takeaway is, focus on the learning process. Encourage the joy of learning. Get them curious enough that they will get those grades that will get them into Harvard. But if they choose to drop out of Harvard to start Facebook or something, it's their choice.

4. Stop speaking to your kids about happiness - start speaking about purpose.

Happiness should be derived from having a sense of purpose. There are many things that are not happy about life, but builds character.

 So instead of saying, "You made me happy because ____", say "I am proud of what you did!

5. Stop emphasizing friends. Start emphasizing FAMILY.

This hit a nerve with me. Growing up, my family was and still is very social. Amongst us, we have hundreds of friends who weave in and out of our home, are part of family occasions and all that. But sometimes, I feel that individually, we spend more time with our friends than with each other. And that's something I want to change in my own family. I want us to spend more time with each other.

Coach Pia says that in this day and age, the ideal ratio of spending time with family to friends should be 5:1, to counteract the effects of technology.

But note that we are talking quality time, and not just spending time in one room, individually hooked to our gadgets ha!

To be continued...

BetterMe: Attaining and Sustaining Loving Energy in the Family, was made possible by DMCI Homes and Lysol.  Lysol recently launched new products - a line of anti-bacterial hand soaps and Lysol Disinfectant Spray for Baby's Room, which is guaranteed safe to use on baby's toys, cribs, strollers, potties, high chairs, etc. Even if the kids are all grown up, this is great to have around the house actually!

An Afternoon with Karen at KARIMADON

While my friend Karen Wu was in town, she invited me and the SoMoms to her mom's store KARIMADON. 

When I told my mommy friends about it, they all started reminiscing about their high school years, when they shopped at Karimadon for party dresses. 

Michelle aka My Mom Friday remembers buying her party clothes at their store in Virra Mall, when Karimadon had square pants and cropped tops that were so right on trend (actually, cropped tops are back!), and Carmina Villaroel was the It Girl at the time, when the term "It Girl" was still unheard of, heehee!

Carmina with Ruffa & Aiko, via FashionPulis.com

Karen's parents started Karimadon in 1980, which is actually an acronym of their children's first names. So yes, Karen is the Kar in Karimadon!

Today it has grown into 16 boutiques in malls, with 4 department store locations. Admittedly, most of us moms haven't been inside Karimadon in years, associating it with special occasion clothes for younger girls with great figures, but we were in for a pleasant surprise.

I spotted chic cocktail dresses at unbelievably affordable price points. Nothing above Php3,000. Most of their cocktail dresses are in the Php1,500 to Php2,000 range.

 

This particular one had pretty crystal embellishments.

I especially loved this structured dress. Very Roland Mouret/Victoria Beckham. If I only knew that they would take photos of me in this dress, I would have put on makeup haha! Thanks for lending your YSL wooden heel pumps for dress-up, Karen!

There's a red version too, and it's unbelievable how this dress retails for Php2,500. I'll wear it with really great accessories, get my hair and makeup done, and it can easily look like a million bucks. Or Php20,000 heehee.

They also had jersey jumpsuits that are very Studio54, just like what Kris aka OC Mom in Manila is wearing (it's very party in the back aka backless!), and Grecian style gowns that are flattering for all body types. Apart from special occasion clothing, they have sheath dresses for work, tops & bottoms for everyday wear, and accessories.

Karen shares that 34 years later, her mom continues to work with the in-house design team and is very much involved in design up to now.  It was also great to know that apart from being locally designed, Karimadon clothes are made right here in the Philippines, which allows them to also take care of alterations, so customers are ensured of a great fit!

Thanks so much for having us over, Karen! We had such a great time re-discovering Karimadon!

For more on Karimadon check out www.karimadonfashion.com, Like them on Facebook, and follow @KarimadonPH on Twitter & Instagram.

Visit KARIMADON at Glorietta 5, Ayala Trinoma Mall, Ayala Center Cebu, Ayala Marquee Mall, Ayala Terraces Mall, Fairview, SM Megamall/North Edsa/Centerpoint/Fairview/Bacoor/Marilao/Pampanga/Cebu, Robinsons Galleria/Metro-East/Ermita and Sta. Lucia East Grand Mall and inside LANDMARK Makati, LANDMARK Trinoma, La Casa Grand in Laoag and Houseware Plaza Department Store in Daet. 

SoMoms & Elin

When Martina of Elin asked a couple of us SoMoms to a shoot with Camille King, in their clothes, it was a no brainer. Of course we said yes!

All of us were fans, from back when Martina, Kathleen and Pat started Catalogue63.

Elin is just the kind of brand you can rely on for trusty wardrobe staples - tunics, tops, dresses and such that are not just comfortable and flattering, but are also cut to look great for every kind of figure, whether you are in that pre-natal, pregnant, post-natal, even way past bearing age stage of your life.

Me in Carla, Chesca in Cammy, Michelle in Kiara, Jackie in Amber, Jen in Joelle, Jenny in Ava

Take this Diane dress for instance,

We all loved how well it fit each one of us, and made us look like donyas, for just Php995!

I think the secret to Elin is that they understand what real women want to wear. They take into consideration the body issues that we have, real or imagined. But most important of all, they are made to complement our lifestyles. Just check out their new line of nursing tops and dresses for breastfeeding moms to see what I mean. 

Elin is not about us adjusting to how we act or walk because of a dress they deem we should be wearing. Yes, I am talking to you Herve Leger.

Elin is about being in a dress that allows us to just throw it on as we go about our daily tasks, and yet making us look stylish while we're at it.

Discover and shop Elin at Elin.ph

SoMoms #BetterMe on Donya Problems

We've come of age when yaya concerns always seem to crop up whenever we talk to our friends.

My friend Karrots even started the catch phrase "Donya Problems", which encompasses all our domestic woes.

From funny stories like that of the yaya who poured Coke on a tray because she was told, "Yaya magdala ka ng Coke please, paki lagay sa tray!", to sob stories when everyone's favorite yaya leaves, to horror stories we read on Facebook that we pass on to friends so that everyone is forewarned, there's no denying that our household staff has the power to make our lives a whole lot easier, OR a whole lot more stressful.

This Christmas, I thought I'd gift you with my learnings from our Coach Pia session, so that your relationship with your yayas will be more pleasant and harmonious. 

Because when you've got good people, they are a blessing from above and we've got to take good care of them the way they take care of us.

Some valuable insights:

- Be aware of your employer style. You need to be aware of your leadership style because sometimes, you may come across as bossy, demanding, or worse, a weakling without knowing it! How you lead influences how effective your staff is at home. So if you find yourself frustrated with your staff, you might need to start looking at yourself. Eeeep, right? Find out what kind of boss you are, HERE.

- Start off with the values important to you. Why is this important? Because this is what you will always revert to when explaining the tasks associated with it to your helpers.

Coach Pia #BetterMe Session at Sequioa Hotel + Ombu Filipino Restaurant

I rarely go to Quezon City these days, but if it's a Coach Pia session for the SoMoms we're talking about, then I am going even if its beyond my usual haunts, heehee.

Our most recent Coach Pia session happened at Sequoia Hotel along Mother Ignacia Ave. cor Timog Ave. Yeah, hotels are popping up in QC na pala! The only hotel I knew of in the area before was Sulo Hotel, and now, there's quite a number where you can hold events, parties, seminars and business conferences. Sequoia Hotel in particular has five function rooms that can fit a small team or hold a conference for 400 delegates, and they have over 130 rooms with free Wi-Fi access.

Not only that, Quezon City is such a happening place for food. There's always something new to try out, we really ought to go there more often. Case in point, Ombu Filipino Restaurant at Sequioa Hotel.

photo via Breakfast with Tiffany

After our session with Coach Pia, we had lunch here, where we were served Filipino comfort food with a twist.

Tinapa Croquetas

Penne Pasta in Olive Oil and Spanish Sardines

Honey Glazed Chicken

Fried rice with dilis - so good!

Gising Gising

Tokwa't Baboy

Salted Egg Tempura

Beignet with Tsokolate

 

If you are craving for Pinoy food that is familiar and yet a step away from the ordinary, you know where to go in QC!

OMBU
Ground floor, Sequoia Hotel
91-93 Mother Ignacia St. corner Timog Avenue
South Triangle, Quezon City
Hours: from 6:30 am
Tel: (632) 441 0518

Now on, to Coach Pia and the topic of the day, "Building Healthier Relationships: Partner & Children".

When it comes to relationships, first things first, we need to assess if our relationship with our partner and our kids is healthy. Here's how to gauge:

Relationship with Partner:
- I can be myself while nurturing my partner, aka authenticity
- I can trust myself, I can trust my partner
- I feel respected, I respect my partner
- I feel understood, I can understand my partner
- I can nurture our children, our children feel nurtured

Relationship with Kids:
- your child can be himself/herself, they can express their thoughts, feelings, actions
- your feel respected, your child feels respected
- your child feels understood
- there is a balance of providing structure/setting limits and affirmation/building self-esteem

Ano, Pass or Fail? Hahaha! Well, don't fret, it is not too late to work on that relationship or further enhance a good thing going. Here are the aspects you need to consider in building healthier relationships:

Partner: Willingness &Ability to
1.  maintain & develop trust
2. learn continuously
3. communicate openly
4. cooperate & create a plan
5. adapt & be flexible
6. let go & forgive
7. sacrifice

Kids: Ability to (because willingness is not an option, we just do it for our kids!)
1. maintain & develop trust
2. learn continuously
3. communicate openly
4. encourage cooperation & co-develop a plan
5. adapt & be flexible
6. accept & affirm
7. parent without EGO

Now, that we know all these, it is time to put this knowledge to work. Here are the 3 strategies we can use to build healthier relationships:

1. Choose an aspect you would like to work on and give yourself a 21-90 day timeline to attain beter results. Then move on to the next one, and so on.

2. Understand and transcend your personal ego. With your kids, nurture yourself to be rid of your personal ego.

3. Fill the relationship with unconditional love & acceptance.

Now  the challenge lies in remembering to do all these when your husband is right there in front of you, testing your patience and not being lovable at the moment, or your kids are wailing non-stop, trying to get their way. 

The thought pa lang, stressful na! Anywho, breathe deeply and remember..."Transcend".

Ommmmm.... 

Special thanks to BPI for supporting The One Core session for the SoMoms! Thank you for this Financial Wellness Journal too. Such a handy dandy tool that us moms can use to validate where we are in our journey to financial wellness, and reminds us to strive towards our goals while practicing good money management habits.

BPI believes that the family is a key pillar to financial wellness. The influence of mothers on their children and their spouses is arguably the most potent in steering the family towards good money habits. BPI is making it easy for moms to raise their financial questions to no less than "banker moms". Moms reading this, feel free to contact Mita Gozar and Chinky Lukban, VPs of BPI, at mita@bpi.com.ph and chinky@bpi.com.ph to discuss your money management concerns!

P.S.

Curious about what Coach Pia and The One Core can do for you? You may want to sign-up for one of her workshops or classes. Next up in her Stress Management Workshop is, tun dun dun dun - Dealing With Stressful People. Details below:

Stress Management Workshop on "Dealing with Stressful People"
September 24, 2013, 7:00-9:00 PM
The OneCORE Success Center, Loyola Heights, Q.C.

Limited slots available. Contact us at:
436-4143 | 0922-894-4143 | contact@theonecore.com

Other topics in this series:
November 26: Handling Career Stress
January 21: Living a Stress-Free Life
March 25: What are My Stress Triggers?

Also, thanks to Tammy Lim of SpunkDesigns.com for the cute kitschy items you gave us!